Pulling out those Enlightening Magnifiers

Click on this image to find the real size of my 3"x5" drawings.

Yes, they are still difficult to see, for older eyes.

Magnifying glasses are recommended for anyone over the age of 40 who is not lucky enough to be nearsighted.

I began doing this tiny imagery when I noticed the audience at a Faberge exhibition was not looking closely at a certain egg, and therefore missing the point of the whole creation, the exquisite likenesses of the Tzar and his family, each image no bigger than my little fingernail. In fact, I couldn't see these portraits, either, but luckily I borrowed a second pair of magnifying glasses from a friend. I put them BOTH on, one on top of the other, and the fabulous world of Faberge and the Tzar's family came to life. I could actually imagine the family members looking at each other, having everyday feelings for each other!

My little drawings are obviously not direct portraits... But hopefully their abstract symbolism has a resonance with the audience... but you might have to pull out the magnifying glasses to get to the essence of the story lines.

Below is the same drawing. This time when you click on the image you will see it enlarged into a form where the details become more clearly objects, actions, and progressions.

Such is life: We can look at it from far away and it appears to be one thing. Or we can look at the details and see something quite different, perhaps even motivations for why things are happening.

Come Visit

Silicon Valley Open Studio happens this Mother's Day Weekend.

1870 studios will be open 11:00-5:00, Saturday and Sunday.

May 7 & 8

(I am now in Studio 23)

Drawing Experience Imitates Life

Two drawings of the same lifeline. The storyline is of someone who grows from childhood into a man who  craves material success. After years of stress in trying to fit into this idealized system he gets on his bike and races off into his future, finding a satisfying sense of harmony in his love for nature and his adoring family.

It is disappointing to not get it right the first time around, as this man experienced in his life. It is ironic that this drawing storyline is the one I flubbed the first time around as well. Perhaps this second version is also a flub. The way life keeps shifting, I think reevaluation is a constant.

(What was that you just whispered... "change"...?)

(Update: the second drawing pleased the recipient, so "take two" is a "go!")

Creating Lifts Us from the Mundane Experience

Portrait of the Creation of Art

Try to see this lifeline from varying points of view: Imagine yourself taller than the quilt shape. Then imagine yourself as small as the tiny objects at the bottom. Is there a change in your perception about what the drawing means?

To my mind, this drawing illustrates the mindset of artistic creation: the creator takes what is tossed around as normal, rethinks it, and makes it into something enlightening to experience.

Many people are artists at living life. It is never an easy process, but usually the complexities of love are sewn in there somewhere.

Here is a group effort that is pulling in the talent and hearts of many.
The concept was originally inspired by Lisa, above, when she lost her mother.

http://walkinginloveinstallation.blogspot.com/

Happy Earth Day

(click on image to look closer)

Art Studio Move

I am now located in:

Studio 23

at the art studio complex in Belmont

Jumping Through It All

It's just one of those high school things.

Inside the Brown

(Click on this detail of painting to see it better.)

Speaking about breaking things up, in order to see things freshly anew, I just detail cut up one of my paintings (no, not literally, just photo chopped) and have been sitting here spacing out on the meaty inner part detail. I have not painted in a while and I can't wait to get in there and do more of this work. I want to stick my head into the middle of this scene and look all around everywhere!

I used to call this painting "Confronting Brown" but I think I am feeling more kind lately. I've been thinking it more of a case of "Enveloping Brown." Adds a touch of hope. Maybe I'll do another painting with this in mind.

Shifting Perspective

Once out there in the world, our work takes on a life of its own.

I am pondering a piece of art I once did that used to be one thing, someone collaged into another thing, and it became something new in the process. The original intent is gone but a sliver of former truth remains.

Of late I have been revealing a little bit of what I think about when I do my drawings. I generally don't want to share too much because I'd like the viewer to have his/her own relationship with the piece. This is risk taking, because every individual brings to the viewing unique limitations alongside their insights.

I recently viewed a museum exhibition on Bonnard and was amazed at the simplicity of description I found on the informative labels. It was as if the curator wanted to discuss the most superficial of interpretations, and make mystery out of the obvious. Meanwhile, down underneath, was a subtle depth of consciousness that was aching to be described.

But maybe that deep stuff isn't describable. I am finding that we humans do not think the same, none of us. Obviously we have different abilities to think quickly and with wit, but aside from that we have different abilities to take in different kinds of content. This ability to take in information varies as we travel through life.

It is for this reason that I am interested to see how an artist's art changes as this person grows older. What kind of relevance can be found in the manner with which that the artist changes the art... or doesn't! I am skeptical about the inner meat of art that doesn't change over time. This feels like design more than art. On the other hand, design and art go hand in hand. I am thinking it is important to know what we are dealing with, and then appreciate what it is for what it is (once we know what it is)... until we change our perspective, which might be in one minute from now.

Therefore, I don't tell people much about what goes on in my head when I create art. It is always shifting... taking on new perspectives... as are the minds of the viewers.

Taking the Messy Palette and Transforming It into a Place of Beauty

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the answers... 

All of them, right now!

Some of us seem to find answers more quickly than others. AC, above, appears to do very well at making his way through the sticky glue/muck/slung mud of life. Perhaps he knows that glue often combines with matter to create beauty; muck might be decay that can fertilize the new; mud is where seeds of poetry can be sewn.

When I was 20 I saw the work of Stephen De Staebler and didn't understand the questions, much less the answers in his work. Ten years later I saw his work again and was floored by my previous lack of connection to the humanity and sense of history expressed... not to mention the elegance of form, texture, and balance that is more often described.

Now I am older than a half century and I am realizing that I just now truly understand the relationship between Henry Moore and Gustav Klimt.

What a cheeky attitude life has of making me wait so long to really get it! And what a delightful hoot that I will continue to play this game of allusions/illusions on into the future!

I am Lucky; I Have the Present

The Light House

Such a little drawing, above. Who is Chaz? Why have I drawn him so straight and tall and really quite simply? Does this drawing appear thin and light to you? Is there strength, even within the thinness? Why? What complexities of life go into making the shape of a sun person? Can we ever assume that we know the insides of anyone?

I met Chaz decades ago, at a younger time. So much has happened since, and yet, there he is, tall, solid, and full of a sun energy that beams out even onto those who are merely standing near him, not knowing him at all. 

Humans are so complex. How can anyone be described with simplicity? I try to get at an essence of something with these drawings. Our lives do have story lines to follow. So here is Chaz, and the story of his resonance with thought and positive energy, some of which he controls, and some of which is his natural state of being.

The Thin Line or the Shadowed Form?

Colette and Mark are two visual artists, married. 

The imaginative force that runs positively 

between these two is phenomenal.

www.colettecrutcher.com

Mark Roller (Hunters Point studio, SF)

Quirky Little Lifelines, Personalized as Best I Can

The "900 Lives of Vision" book ended up costing a lot to produce, so this means it is expensive to buy. To even out the exchange value-wise, I have added a personalized drawing to each book ordered. These are Lifelines that revolve around a theme (or two or three) about the new book owner's life. This links the new owner to the stories within the book. Here are just a few of the designs I've created in the past two weeks. My new supply of books should arrive soon, and the drawing with book combo will be delivered to the new owners. This is a very fun project for me. I truly hope the receivers enjoy what arrives on their doorstep, because I'm having a blast. 

(To read drawings, start on the left with the birth of the individual, and read to the right as they grow through youth and onwards into an abstractly biographical perspective of their life.)

Paula, the Adventuress, what an imagination she has. 

And so much courage! 

 The high fly of the solo line of jazz guitarist Danny Caron. 

I can not do the emotional complexity of his line justice, 

but if you imagine these lines popping out on top of 

a lower register of great jazz & blues & a bit of the wild beat in life, 

you'll get what I'm cleanly trying to drive at.

 Imagine the bounty of stories this person has told throughout life. 

He's now in his 90's and relishes exploring 

all types of thoughts each day of his life.

 Rebecca.

After I drew this, but before she saw this, 

she said she liked things tall and thin. 

She showed me a new lamp she had just bought that was 

made of long metal lines and jewels attached to the ends.

It is very difficult to get these tiny portraits right, 

and I am so relieved when the drawing

ends up feeling right to the new owner.

Invisible Influences at Play

These four photos arrived on my table out of the blue, accompanied by a request that I scan them. These are not photos taken from my life, but I do know these people, had met each person during middle and high school years, and most have popped up in my life a few times after that. While searching these young faces I marveled at realizing that each person has had a meaningful impact upon my life. The point I'm getting at is that value can come from every person who passes our way, no matter how slightly we interact with them.

Bill

The kid with the tennis racket years later became my "ride home" from college during quarter breaks. I didn't know him personally, except that he had been a friendly acquaintance at my high school. On the drives home he'd stick me in the attached camper compartment walled off above his head, instead of next to him on the seat in the truck. Communication during the 3-hour drive was out of the question and yet I felt quite close to this boy turning into a man as we careened forward into our separate-yet-together futures. A sense of together/apart duality began to appear in my art around this time.

Tony

The smaller person in the boat photo, lower left, taught me that being small in physique had nothing to do with relationship to size of intellect. I remember thinking during high school, when I slightly knew this kid, that he was on a brainy technical plain (plane?) soaring in a hemisphere way out of my reach. I also remember thinking, am I on my own plain (plane) soaring in a hemisphere out of his reach? The question continues: when I create art that is so accurate to my experience am I creating art that might in definition then be unknowable by others? Is there value in communicating that which is incomprehensible to others? The deeper question is, can one get down to relevant truths that are universal, and still hold on to one's individuality of unique thought, and make sense?

That tiny person in the boat photo grew up to be a very big person in relationship to affecting the minds/lives of others, as everyone who knew him expected to happen. He's now soaring around on a plain (plane) at the top of his department at the top of the highest peaked university pile at the top of the mathematical world. What does this now mature man think when he encounters the minds of people who think dissimilarly to himself? Fog and thunderclouds look very different from one another, yet they are both moisture in the air. Can they exist in tandem? Yes. Can one make a relevant piece of art encompassing both realities? Did Turner think of such things? How much humanity goes into the art of an experienced landscape artist? Is it all form and light and color, or is there something more, hidden quietly underneath the clarity, something illusory but that beats with a quiet resonance of universal human awareness? How is it that one painting of a storm can feel superficial and another can stop us short with a tiny gasp of profound recognition?

Dave

Then there's the kid waving his hand. How has this boy influenced my life? I knew him slightly in high school but got to know him fairly well after college. See that smile? It's still there. He taught me that a jolly attitude can entice one's own saddest tear to wiggle out onto the dance floor of clownish humor. Water drop symbols have pervaded my art for decades, but what do they symbolize? Tears of sadness? Tears of joy? Sweat? Energy? Time movement? The beginnings of a humorous thought? The kid in the photo, now in the shape of the man, is still the kid in the photo, turning thought, questions, and sorrowful experiences upside down in a revel of Foolish wit that makes one grin. I am grinning back.

Jeff

There are two taller boys in the top right photo. How have these two influenced me? The one on the right, in the white shirt, has no idea that he symbolizes for me the ecstasy of friendship. I was lucky enough to see this man embrace a boyhood friend in the most heartfelt squeeze of noisy bliss that I have ever seen publicly displayed. It is this type of abandoning oneself to inner bliss that I reach for when meditating down into "the zone" that produces the best of my work.

Bill

The kid in the sweater, sitting next to the squeezer's right, and grinning at the world, is still doing just that, grinning at the world. He does it with complete awareness, too. This boy turned man feels to me to be a bridge between the planes(!) that I sent soaring around this blog space a few paragraphs earlier. He is able to check in on one plain, move to another, observe and get information, and then move onto yet another plain. He does not abscond with all of the data, but instead takes what is relevant and then jets away to drop in... pollenate?... at another location. Ultimately he will fly to his own planet and build from his collections a civilization that is greater in scope than any of us can ever imagine. Watching the positive buzz of this energetic mind (and accompanied balancing companion mind, not in photos) encourages me towards thinking outside my own box. I am encouraged to speak up with my questions, to look for more data, to open my eyes to different ways of seeing, and to trust that I can create civilizations of my own that might have depth and consequence. I am also being taught by this boy turned man that we can be startled by life, and that we do have limitations on what we can safely take in. In order to soar to great plains, one must keep one's ship in fuel, check the spark plugs, and don't poor sugar into the gas tank!

Francis

The last boy in the photos, the small one in the upper left, reaching for food, is my greatest inspiration. He symbolizes that rare audience that appreciates the innermost light of the artist. One might say he embodies the art of living soulfully, with a good ear, a good mind, and a brave and willing heart. In my opinion the best art encompasses a blending of the feminine and the masculine. I have had many people view my art and it is clearly the people who are comfortable with both energies that benefit the most from seeing what I do. This man is one of those lucky people who gets charged up by the complete picture. The excitement of completely open conversation over the experience of what the art is about creates an energy that generates even more energy, leading to more creative thought and in the long run, a productive future.

When I go out into the world to see the work of other artists I try to get into this space of being open to seeing and taking in what the artist has to offer. It is remarkable what we can learn when we do this. I just gave you a synopsis of a group of boys who have influenced my life. Only one of them knows they have an integral part of my way of thinking. Compile these and other boy/men with so many girl/women that have traveled through my world and you will see the way that an alert mind picks up art data at almost every turn of life's experience. There is value everywhere. The landscape artist can make almost any landscape relevant, if they put their minds to it. Artists such as me can make any person relevant, if I put my mind to it. This is what my art is about: the art of being human, on all levels, no matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what your experience. There is something of value in every human hole we are conscious enough to stick our Foolish heads into.

Experimenting with Drawing Personalized Lifelines

Here is a quick drawing I did in support of Scott, who is looking for a job. The descriptors given to me for Scott are as follows. I have no idea whether the image that appeared on the paper is close to the spirit of Scott, but I did have a lot of fun imagining him taking on the world in this manner. As always, I did not preplan the drawing, so what came out is what came out. Go Scott!

Scott

Loving father of 2 daughters, scuba diver, boater, walks the dog,

drinks quality scotch, watches high action films, eats meat,

campaigns for progressive politics, dances, parties with friends,

listens to the Blues, is methodical, is a high energy type,

is kind and compassionate, is an in-charge type.

Looks stiff on the outside, is super silly and fun loving inside.

Can cry without embarrassment.

Loving husband.

Magic of Mockingbird

Here's why it pays to be a good sport. Years ago Sandy Mallory asked me to volunteer as the historian for the drama booster program where my daughter attended high school. She also asked me to make online-published books out of the photographs I'd take of the productions. Having been involved for years in many aspects of the illustration and design for traditionally created magazines, newspapers, and books, I knew this would be a ton of work if it was to be done right.

I had never done any true photographic documentation before. This intrigued me. Realizing this experience would give me an opportunity to grow my talents, I said yes and gave the effort my all. Two years later, and with the help of friend photographer Mark Kitaoka, I ended up with six photo documentary books under my belt.

Luck would be on my side: the drama department at San Mateo High School, under the direction of Brad Friedman, is exceptional on all levels (from set building to acting), so the images I took had the benefit of excellent aesthetics even before I snapped the shutters. The joy I experienced while telescoping so closely into the hard work of these amazing students was uniquely exquisite. It was almost as if I was capturing the moment to moment growth of true character building as these students learned how to power-tool their screws into boards or to better portray their characters on stage. The young man you see in the photo above had never previously acted in a play, yet you can see, even in this snapped photo, that his energy was the complete essence of the "Mockingbird" character he represented.

I have so many fabulous memories from this past dive into the student drama world, but last week this part of my history leapt into the present. An educationally oriented book maker in the UK has chosen some of my photos to illustrate their text book on "To Kill a Mockingbird." This means that the volunteer job I did three or four years ago is now going to help teach hundreds of thousands of kids on another continent for who knows how many years to come. Now that is volunteer work at its best!

(It's also pretty darn cool that my then student daughter, Alicia, was one of the two set designers for the play, and did not hold back at all with her feisty opinions about how to get those flats built and painted to look aesthetically right!)

900 Lives of Vision ~ Now a Book!

Welcome to the world, Book.

I'll be sending out a tiny original lifeline drawing

with each book ordered.

The drawing will be a new drawing

that is linked to a theme from your life.

If you would like to order a book and a drawing,

email me your request

and include a theme about life that intrigues you.

Examples: music, gardening, writing, architecture,

dance, singing, sailing, travel, etc.

I will then create for you a personalized drawing

to go with your book.

For those of you who do not send in a theme:

I'll include a drawing of my own inspiration.

The charge for book and drawing is $81

(plus tax and shipping if applicable.)

(This offer for a limited time only.)

My contact:

Put L next to Toldi and snug it up to the symbol for "at"

and then add earthlink period net. (That is 20 digits total.)

The Inside of Portraiture

The Portrait of a Cat

A woman sits at her breakfast table enjoying the early sun. A sudden movement in the bush attracts her attention. Out of the concealing shrubbery steps a beautiful calico cat, slinking through the woman's garden with a sense of curiosity and possessiveness that the woman immediately recognizes as the innate qualities of all felines. She admires the fur, the color, the stealth. She wonders where the cat will go next. She has a choice. She can follow this cat on four soft moving, stealth paws of her own (and in doing so take on the grace, beauty, and elegance of feline as well as the rapid fresh meat breath and slanted, calculating eye), or the woman can stay seated at her warm breakfast table enjoying the rest of her cereal and, oh, look! Such lovely birds are now flying overhead. Robins have one of the most melodious of spring songs, she recalls. Perhaps she is hearing a song now.

CONTROL Can Be Achieved?

"View from Above"

Looking over the edge is never easy and quite a lonely experience. I am pleased whenever I find fellow travelers who are brave enough to stand by my side a moment and gaze with me upon the beauty that can be found over the edge (if one just uses the right flash light, spot light, magnifying glass, six pairs of rose colored glasses(?) to see... and holds on tight to that rope we have wrapped around our middles and attached back to that oak tree behind us, which is attached to the rock back behind that, which is attached to the hill and then to the mountain behind there....)

This painting is in the CONTROL show at:

Ceres Gallery,

547 West 27th, Suite 201.

New York, NY. 10001

February 1-26, 2011.

The reception is February 10, 6-9 pm.

www.ceresgallery.org

212-947-6100

CONTROL is an exhibition of artwork by members of west coast chapters of Women's Caucus for Art. For more information about WCA check out www.nationalwca.org.

Inside the Box

I love it when a drawing circles through, back into relevance again. This drawing has been seen here before and most likely will be seen again.

One of the luxuries of aging into the second half-century of life is letting go of those early external judgmental voices that caused thousands of embarrassments for my young self-judgmental self. I have culled the noise down to a musical melody that makes sense to me and no longer give a damn about the rest of it. Because of this my art is much more pointedly honest. It can also be extremely off-putting, even to myself. The rewards in creating this work is immense.

Long ago I knew I would never be a Rembrandt. I don't like to paint from real life, never have, even though I knew I could teach myself to do so. I have a painting of an old cardboard box around here somewhere that I did in Thiebaud's painting class eons ago... The project was to paint a simple empty cardboard box in a way that made the box come alive. The painting was a complete success: mine sings with cardboard box joy and glory.

Nevertheless, it didn't satisfy me. I felt I wanted to work at creating art about what isn't seen, but is always felt: the inside of humanity, not the outside. In cardboard box language I guess I wanted to let go of the physical box and concentrate more on the joy & glory within, and maybe add the other part of empty boxness: weariness, pathos, and perhaps a bit of angst.

My next thirty years on this path have taken me on a marvelous ride of observation about what it means to be alive, from the inside. Much of my artwork has been an exercise in failure when viewed from the judgmental mind that I was schooled to trust 30 years ago.

But there is another judgmental mind in me that is jumping up and down with glee. Good going, girl! You jumped into that empty box and have found more treasure in there than anyone could ever hope to behold in ten lifetimes.

Clearly, embarrassment is a big part of what I found in that box, but, if you click on the drawing, you'll see there's ample humor rattling around there, too, right alongside the warts.

Oh, yes, Rembrandt. He also pointed a flashlight on the soul, didn't he. Hmmm........ ha ha!