I made the trip to Big Sur to visit my dear Pa, and he's as inspiringly comical as ever... even while ill. What a miracle it is that his cognitive remainders are so full of humor at this late stage in the mental game. I'm practicing my humor around the house, hoping to steer my own dotage in that direction.
Meanwhile, I came across three live individuals who might be imagined as the walking figure in "The Journey Man" (for different reasons). And today I read a story about a stone angel that kept appearing in a man's dream... making me smile because there is that stone angel that appeared in this same painting.
Since the characters and forms in my paintings come up out of the paper (I see them emerge as I paint along) I think of them as having both conscious and subconscious attributes, sometimes the compositions being so loosely formed as to be in similar construction as lucid dreams. Of course, I do not paint all of the images I see in the paper. That would be anarchy.
I have been reading William Soroyan. He appears to love humanity and feel bored by humanity all at the same time. Since he wrote before a lot of breakthroughs in scientific psychology it's pretty clear that his boredom came from a lack of stimulus from within. He didn't want to know what other people were saying. He felt comfortable in his own visions, his own inner sounds, his own senses of discovery. To look deeply into other ways of thinking that did not support his own style would do what?... Could this be competitiveness that caused his boredom? It's all very ironic because he was so sure of his deep perceptions of humanity, and in a good humanistically philosophical way, and at the same time such a blind fool. And, of course, he was intelligent enough to admit he might be a fool. There in lies his great voice.
I suppose all artists have to be blind in order to see and be seen. If we allow all of those strong and talented personalities out there to have their limelight within our heads the din would be so loud there wouldn't be any room for our own voices to be heard. So in order to be heard we do have to yell, to put in ear plugs, to fine tune our inner pitch so that we can hear the unique tones, notes, words and songs within the symphony that is our life.
A woman walked into my studio two days ago who spoke as she read one of my tiny paintings. She was singing her own song as she sang along with mine, as she introduced images into the painting that I had never known existed. I walked up close to see what she was seeing, and she was right! Her song was playing right there within my painting. By the end of the viewing we were in full duet. I now have Tibet inside my song of that painting and there is nothing boring about that.
Our relationship with the nonspecific aspect of abstract form continues to unfold as we live with a piece of art.
An example, I put on Leonard Cohen, glanced at "pilgrimage" in the last post, and saw a new form I'd never seen before. Since it is a very large form I am especially intrigued. If art duplicates life, then there are some mighty large issues out there I am not seeing.
Painted after an experience of being bullied. Humans have such a capacity to love that it amazes me when they choose instead to hate. I believe a wire gets broken inside their psyches and they have a difficult time crossing the roaring waterfall of egotistical self hate/doubt in order to reach calm ground. It's very exciting at those falls. The thunder of the pounding water causes our blood to rush and we stop hearing the self doubt. We have all met those falls at sometime in our lives.
These gouache paintings are impossible to accurately reproduce, the subtlety of color far too sophisticated for scan lights. The large dark blob is a lighter rust, the lines softly opaque. I originally named the piece to fit the foreground but now have changed it to address the figure in the middle ground.
I didn't have paper so I grabbed the ph-balanced foam core nearby. Putting a painting on one side caused the sheet to curl so I put paint on the reverse to even it out. Of course that meant I had to make the splotch of paint into something.
The after affects of an Open Studio are here: Someone has bought "Blue Migration". Now I feel like the little guy, flying alone in a calm space, heading off into new horizons.
The new owner is allowing me to keep the blue painting in my studio for a while. When I create large pieces I learn so much and pull on that info to create new works. When the painting leaves the studio I feel like I've lost a major resource. Since "Blue Migration" is so new I appreciate the new owner letting me sit on it for a while.
I keep one of my most interestingly painted canvases in my studio at all times just for that reason... as an inspirational resource of what is possible. ("Confronting Brown")
This is the part I look at for reference material. Whenever I see other people paint like this I get such a high! I do it in tiny form now (in gouache), and hope to get back into large versions when I am able to paint with oil again. There's no ventilation in my new studio, so I'm avoiding oil fumes. Maybe if I do the messiest work elsewhere and then bring the painting to the studio?
Meanwhile, I work with acrylic paint, as you see in the blue above.
This past weekend I was privileged to have dozens of strangers walk into my studio, view/interact with my work, and then kindly talk to me about how the art related to their own lives. As those who view my work know, I draw from a multitude of perspectives. Listening to the individual guests tell their personal stories and experiences was like having the people of my drawings come to life. Totally jazzy for me. Thanks for visiting and sharing everyone. What an uplift! (See January 7, 2014 post.)
I am a visual person who draws and paints about life, viewing the world from a variety of perspectives. Since I have one foot in civilization and one foot in nature, and my head isn't afraid of deep caverns or dizzying heights, I end up in some pretty interesting places. ~ ~ ~
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I have two blogs. Toldileigh.blogspot.com muses about the world through the lens of my art mind. The second blog, Maybeperhapsifyouwill.blogspot.com, is a bunch of nonsense I create by harvesting characters from my artwork and giving them dialogues.
All art/writings in blogs copyright Leigh Toldi unless otherwise specified.