Thursday, March 21, 2013

Wouldn't it be Great

"Three Percent Contained" (red dot)

Wouldn't it be great if life was as calm as some of my drawings. It's not. It's as chaotic and confusing as those other of my drawings/paintings.

Some people think my art is all about myself. When you think about your own life work and philosophies do you think about your life in relation to only what you, personally, do and feel? Or do you think about it in relation to how other people come and go within the sphere of your life, influencing your thoughts and feelings, closely, or even abstractly. Do you think about the decisions they make within their own lives and how this affects others? When you think about your life do you think what you read (reality as seen through the eyes of others) is a part of you? that what you watch on TV becomes a subconscious part of you? that what you watch, perceive, and feel in movies might color your world? that the music you respond to (the heart beat of others) might fill your head so much you can't see yourself? that the people you are fascinated by or are repelled by are just as much in your life at particularly intense moments as your own conscious thoughts might be?

No, my art, though often about emotional topics, is not all about me going through my own personal moods. It's about you and me and them and all that physical, virtual, natural, trippy movement that surounds us all, day after day, year after year, and on into the decades of time.

EB, a person from my husband's life and someone whom I've never met, just called, desperate. Three sentences from this man and I was sitting more closely inside this guy's spirit than he'd ever want me or anyone to sit. It's a place I have noticed many people can't acknowledge. It's a bit scary there. But it's also a beautifully human place. I make art about this inner place. Thank God it's not always desperate! But it's always intense, vibrating, resonating. It is a human something that is alive, fertile, hopefully hopeful ... and downright fascinating.

So now I am imagining that EB might be feeling a little bit like what the above painting looked like when I first began painting it (out of control, desperately wild paint strokes flying all over the place). Or maybe like the one below. I just hope his chaotic reality gets safely contained, as I have done in these two paintings. Maybe he will be able to make calm sense out of the mess, just as we all strive to do in our chaotic and sometimes very brutal existence.